BTVS: Do the Wacky
by DeathTheKat
Summary: AU: Season Six with lots of changes. Many themes/events are canon(ish), but most things have been changed (for the better). Most characters are OOC. My first attempts at publishing, so reviews are greatly appreciated! This is a sneak peak of the much longer fic I am writing, so reviews may determine whether or not I proceed. No real summary, Buffy-verse belongs to Joss, please R&R!
1. Part 1: Back?

Chpt. 1

"Soddin' Slayer!" The Bleach Blonde vampire swore as he landed on his back. _Not really her fault, o' course, she isn't even around to kick my arse anymore,_ he thought bleakly. _But still, I wouldn't be out here bein' all noble like and risking my hide for these wankers if she hadn't… hadn't…_ He couldn't even bring himself to think the word, let alone say it aloud.

The 'Buffy Bot' was a worthless excuse for a slayer, and in her attempt to stake a fledgling she'd knocked it into Spike and sent them both tumbling over a headstone. Spike jabbed a stake through the newborn vamp's chest and rolled himself up into a crouching position as it went poof in a cloud of dust. He curled his tongue over his top teeth in anticipation, and leapt out at a young vampire chasing the blonde witch. _Poor Glinda_ , he thought as he snapped the vamp's neck and wrenched its head from its body with a poof of dust. _What is she even doing out here? Red should'a let her stay home with the Bit 'stead of the demon girl._

"That looks like the last one," Willow bounded up behind him and Tara. "Spike, do you mind hanging around the house for a bit tonight? Tara and I need some adult time and Xander and Anya have plans already. I don't think Dawnie needs to be alone just yet…"

"Sure, Red. I'll keep the Niblit company, just got t' stop off at m' crypt. Landed in somethin' slimey thanks to the 'bot." He nodded at the couple, closing his lips around a cigarette and turned towards the other side of the cemetery.

"We'll let her know you're gonna be a few minutes!" Willow called after him.

Spike held up a mock salute before disappearing behind the line of trees.

******************************************BTVS*******************************************

Spike leaned against the cool cement door of his crypt, eyes closed, taking a couple of deep, _though unnecessary_ , breaths. He'd promised to take care of Dawn, and it was the only _real_ thing he had left. He refused to drink human blood, even the nasty bagged crap Red and Glinda kept trying to feed him; Spike knew he looked like hell even without a reflection. Roughly four months of sleeping when he passed out from exhaustion, and just enough pig's blood to keep him from starving, left the bleach blonde vampire looking like a tweaker from the 70s. _Nothin' but a bag o' bones and hollowed eyes_ , he though grimly.

He stripped as he made his way downstairs to the more hospitable cavern/bedroom under the crypt. He'd installed a showerhead after tapping into an exposed city water pipe some months ago. He stepped under the cascading water, letting it wash away the grime and guts from patrolling. A few tears slipped down his face and he turned his chin up defiantly, letting them disappear in the spray from the shower.

He toweled off quickly, and dressed in record time. The wiccas were probably getting annoyed or had already left. He pulled a pint of pig's blood from the fridge and downed its contents, knowing Dawn would screech and rip him a new one for not taking care of himself. He closed his eyes and drank and snapped them back open instantly. It was getting more and more difficult to pretend he didn't see _her_ every night in his dreams, that he didn't try to save her night after night, and in the last few weeks that he _didn't_ see her shining green eyes _ev'ry_ time he closed his. _Get a move on ya' wanker, the Bit is prolly worryin'_ , he scolded himself for taking his sweet time.

To say Dawn had grown attached to Spike would be putting it mildly, though he wouldn't go so far as to say the teen was fond of him either. In his mind, he was keeping his promise to the Slayer, his heart on the other hand… He'd always been fond of the Summers girls, every last one of 'em; Joyce had treated him like a man – damaged – but still a man. And towards the end even the Slayer seemed to treat like less of a monster. He'd spent more time at the Summers' residence in the last couple of years than he'd even gone near some of the old dives he used to roll through.

He'd taught Dawn how to braid her own hair, and binge watched _Passions_ with Joyce while sippin' hot cocoa. The scoobies only know a bit of this though, and he knew Dawn would never tell them. The Summers girls were like family to him, even the one that usually threw him out and kicked his arse, of course in his mind she'd always been _more_ than family. _And now Dawn's the only one of 'em left_ , he choked up a bit. _O' course it doesn't make it any easier that Niblet looks so much like Kitty, but I'd gotten attached to those birds long before I realized that or how I felt about the slayer._ Yes, he was keeping his promise to the slayer, and protecting the only person left that he cared about, too.

******************************************BTVS*******************************************

"Spike! You gonna come in or just be a creep on the front porch all night?" Dawn's shrill voice pulled him from his thoughts.

He pushed through the front door and smirked at the teen. "Sorry, Bit. Lost track of time trying to get the demon goo off m' duster."

Dawn's eyes tightened a bit at the smirk, she could see right through the façade he put up, because she was putting on her own. His smirk slipped as she ran at him, bawling her eyes out and soaking the front of his shirt. Spike held onto her and inched them inside the house a bit further.

"Bad day, Bit?"

Dawn clung to him, "Everyone leaves…"

Spike closed his eyes; clear green ones sparkled back at him in his mind, but for once they were reassuring. "Dawn, I know it's hard, sweet. But that isn't true…"

She raised her tear-stained face to give him a scowl, and started to pull away.

"Pet, just listen for a second. Eventually, yes, everyone meets his or her death. There's no escape, not even for me. But even in death, the people we love are still here with us. S'long as we're here living, they live on in us. You still hear your mom in your head? Tellin' ya' to pick up your clothes or not talk while your chewing? That's because she's still with you, Dawnie, and big sis is, too."

Dawn's mouth hung open, her watery blue eyes wide. "Spike… that's so… Is that what you actually believe or are you just trying to make me feel better?"

"I don't just believe, pet. I know." His voice waivered a little, as he debated on whether or not to tell her this next bit, before pressing on. "I close my eyes and I still see your big sis starin' back at me. Thought I was going barmy at first, but I figured out she's about as close as I ever got to havin' a real conscience, and now all I have to do is close my eyes to remind myself tha' she would've wanted me to be the white hat do-gooder. Doesn' bring her back, but it's about all that keeps me from losin' all hope and meetin' the sun some mornings."

"Don't talk like that… I can't lose you, too. Willow and Tara and Xander and Anya, they're not the same. They were her friends, sure. And I love them all, but they're only here because they think they should be. You're here with me because you want to be. You're like my big brother, Spike. I can't lose the only family I have left."

Spike inhaled sharply when she said 'family,' and stared at her incredulously. _The Bit,_ Dawn _, had just called_ him _family. Sure, he thought that way, but never expected it to be mutual. What's next? Slayer was actually in love with me all these years?_ He laughed out loud then, and Dawn saw what was probably his first true smile since her sister climbed up to save her from Glory's tower.

_Do the Wacky_

Chpt. 2

Willow sat cross-legged in front of Buffy's head stone, her eyes closed as she meditated, clearing the energy in the area and releasing some of her own pent up tension. Tara's warm, loving energy beside her was probably soothing. She'd spent days trying to hide the stress, and nerves, this spell was causing in her, but tonight was it. Their only shot at bringing Buffy back, and all of the scoobies knew they needed her back.

Anya tried to warn them, but none of them ever listened. _They all just assume I'm the least useful and that I don't know what I'm talking about. It's not like I'm over 1200 years old and have seen damn near_ everything _the magic world has to offer_ , she snarled in her head. _It's not that this may not work; it_ will _work if the spell is done properly, but this kind of thing always comes with a price. And had anybody even bothered to make sure they were saving Buffy from a hell dimension? Not just yanking her out of a peaceful resting place?_ She settled down into the circle between Xander and Tara. Willow was running the show, all she had to do was be still and concentrate on her candle.

Willow opened the spell by announcing the title and importance of the woman they were trying to resurrect. "Here lies the warrior of the people…" _Blah, blah blah… All pretty standard for recounts of the previously successful resurrections,_ Anya thought. She'd pulled the research and previewed the books Willow had ordered before actually handing them over to the witch. Then things started to get interesting. The god was testing the witch since she had envoked his power of to perform the spell. Slits ran up both arms and she started gagging. She double over with the pain of whatever it was but never let go of the spell, even when the rather large snake wormed its way out of her mouth… Anya's eyes bugged, _that had_ never _been in any of the descriptions of previous resurrections._

"WILLOW, I REQUIRE MAINTENANCE!" The "Buffy Bot" came stumbling and sparking into the grove of trees that surrounded the real Buffy's grave.

 _Have to give the witch some credit, she didn't even flinch_ , Anya thought. An engine revved loudly and far too close to still be out on the road, and then a gang of hellions crashed through the trees and into their circle.

"NOOOO!" Willow screamed as a motorcycle crushed the urn of Osiris and fainted from the strain of the magic and the shock of the spell being broken so suddenly.

Xander scooped the red head up and took off into the trees, Anya and Tara chasing after him. The hellions seemed to be more interested in the 'bot, and Anya was relieved for that. The four of them moved slowly and ducked behind a group of boulders. Anya checked for a pulse on the redheaded witch, while Tara anxiously twitched about checking her for injuries.

"I think she'll be alright, just exhaustion from the spell and the shock of having the link ripped away. She'll be back to giving you wonderful girl-on-girl action in no time." Anya beamed at the soft-spoken witch. Xander tried really hard to not create any mental pictures from his girlfriend's statement about his best friend.

"Ahn… Nevermind. I can probably carry her, but I don't think I can make all the way back to Revello Drive carrying dead weight."

Tara glanced at him sharply from the use of the word 'dead,' but recovered quickly. "C-closest place is the Magic Box. I can do a homing s-s-spell with the store as the target and it'll lead us out of h-here."

Xander nodded at the witch, and scooped her girlfriend up onto his back, piggyback style. Anya wrapped Willow's arms around her boyfriend's neck, trying to anchor her on his back. A ball of light appeared in front of Tara, and Xander nodded for her to lead the way. Anya stayed close behind him, _this is not going to work if she slips, I can't catch her; I may break something or strain important sex muscles. Oh, I hope Xander doesn't pull any muscles…_

******************************************BTVS*******************************************

The roar of tires outside the small two story stirred Spike from a fitful doze. The thin being next to him sniffled and slipped further down into the couch cushion. He sat up slowly, trying not to wake the sleeping teenager, and peered out the window. His eyes widened at the chaos in the street. Hellions were everywhere, ransacking the neighbors' yards, trashing the family car, and two were headed for the porch of the Summers' house. Spike ducked away from the window, muting the telly when he passed the remote on the couch. He gently shook Dawn awake, covering her mouth to silence her protests.

"We've got to get out of here. There's demons all over the block," he whispered as he pulled her along toward the kitchen door.

"Wait!" Dawn hissed back, and rolled her eyes at him when he turned to glare back at her. "Weapons," she said pointing to Buffy's 'trunk of Slayer-tricks.'

Spike grinned back, _Niblit thinks just like her big sis, never go anywhere without some kind o' weapon._ He flipped the trunk open and felt a sharp pang in his chest cavity; _nothing has been touched since that night_. Memories and images flashed through his mind and he inhaled sharply, shaking his head to clear away the memory of his slayer lying on the ground at the foot of Glory's tower. He gently rummaged through the trunks contents, careful to make as little noise as possible and avoid stabbing himself with any especially sharps pieces of the slayer's weapons surplus. He plucked two short swords from the depths of the chest, and strapped them into a holster on his back. _Fortunately, I left the duster at the crypt tonight_ , he thought ironically. He really hadn't felt like the Big Bad-leather-duster-wearing-slayer-of-slayers since that night; _hadn't felt like much more than a bleedin' ponce._ His lip curled in distaste at the thought, _quit brooding you sod!_ He scolded himself, before turning and slinking back towards the kitchen door.

*******************************************BTVS******************************************

Buffy's eyes opened slowly and she took a deep breath of the stale, dank air closed in around her. She choked and gagged, and in a panic started clawing at the material above her. Her eyes widened in shock. She was still buried. _Buried alive. Or rather… yeah whatever. Too confusing._ She shook the thought away and did her best to punch and break her way out of the confined space. Dirt and pebbles spilled in the more she broke through the top panel of her coffin. Her heart raced and she held her breath. She pushed her way through the earth, grunting and grumbling. Roots snagged her hair and dress. She felt the free air on her now injured knuckles and started kicking and pulling frantically to get her head above ground. She gasped breathing the cool air into her lungs. Pulling herself free of the suffocating grave, she collapsed to the ground near her own headstone.

Sobs racked through her body as she desperately clung to the memories of her mother's presence. Heaven had been beautiful warmth and every thing here was dark and cold. Anne Pratt's voice, just before Buffy was pulled back to earth, sounded in her ears again, **_the hardest thing in this world is to live in it, live for me, for him, and most importantly for yourself_**. There it was. A slight twist on the words she'd spoke to Dawn just before her final sacrifice, and Buffy knew in her heart that Anne was right. She had to live. She blinked through the tears, trying to clear her vision but it remained blurry even after the tears stopped _. Oh right, dead for months… I wonder what else is going to come back gradually…_ She arched and jumped up to her feet. _Okay… Slayer agility still intact…_ She wobbled on her kitten heels, _equilibrium, not so much_.

It was dark out, which meant all of the lovely creatures of the hellmouth would be out and about. She glanced around, squinting to see if something could be used as a weapon. Seeing only her headstone and the disturbed earth of her grave, she shrugged and slipped through the trees towards the main cemetery. She walked and walked, the familiar shapes of headstones and mausoleums relaxing her slightly, and for the first time, _probably ever_ , nothing attacked her before she left the gate of the cemetery. She looked wildly around her, up and down the street, and felt her head spin. _Whoa… Equilibrium is still screwed up. Guess that takes more than a few minutes to come back post-post-mortem_. She snickered at her own joke, and then coughed, choking on the thick smog around her. Smoke and burning liquor stench filled the air, scorching her sensitive nostrils. The light of the full moon was harsh to her newly re-animated eyes. She closed them, counting the seconds, as she breathed through her slightly parted lips not wanting to risk the foul stench filling the air.

"Hey look… the stupid thing survived! Never mind that it ruined everything!"

"Wills, I'm thinking new programming next time. Nearest radio shack, instead of coming back to you for the teeniest of scratches."

Buffy opened her eyes and backed away slowly. The group of scoobies had stumbled out of the woods a few dozen yards behind her and she could hear them approaching. Her breathing accelerated and in a moment of panic she turned to face their unfriendly words. _They… They did this. They the reason I got the choice to come back._ It made her mad. She was done, she shouldn't have had to make the choice. **_But it was still a choice, and you went willingly back to them… Live, sweetheart, for them…_** Buffy ran.

She needed to find her. The whole reason she ended up there in the first place. Her little sister, the Key, she's the only one who could possibly understand. The only person who would believe the absurdity of this entire ordeal would be the 15-year-old girl who witnessed every aching second of her death. Buffy stumbled and fell into heap, sobbing once more. She pulled herself to a nearby building, and rested against the cool bricks. _This newly re-animated thing isn't much fun. Everything hurts and all I want to do is sleep. At least I'm not craving brains. I need to find Dawn, and… him. How am I going to explain this?_ _"Oh yeah, you know that whole turning your mom into a monster? She forgives you."_ _Yeah… That'll go real well._

"Look boys… I think we've found another one for the fire!" A wrinkly, spotted hand grabbed her roughly by the arm. She squinted at the leather-clad demon. _Where do these guys get their fashion sense? Or lack-there-of?_ She pulled his meaty fingers from her arm with a growl. He looked back at her and backhanded her into the bricks she'd been leaning on only moments ago. She snarled at the demons surrounding her, idly wondering why she sounded more like a pissed off vampire than a sarcastic, angry slayer. She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts that were spinning all around her. She wrenched the hellion off of the motorcycle by one of his piercings and gave a feral grin at his girlish squeal.


	2. Part 2: Stay

AN: So... Part two is where the changes really start to become obvious. I am currently working on Part III and should have it up some time next week. Thanks to everyone who's read this so far!

_DoTheWacky_

Chpt. 3

"What's that over there?" Dawn had to shout over the roar of the motorcycle. _Spike's inner demon must_ _love_ _that he punched some big bad demon hell's angel and took the bike right out from under him_. She rolled her eyes at the back of his bleached head. He rolled the bike up the path to the parking lot she pointed out and dropped a foot to drag the bike to a stop.

Dawn hopped off and ran to take a closer look at the carnage. Mechanical parts were strewn all over. A bonfire stood in the middle of the parking lot, bits of the Buffy-Bot sizzled in the flames. Smoke stung her lungs, and she tried to pass the tears off on it as well. _It's just a robot! Pull it together, Dawn!_ She scolded her foolish reaction.

Spike stepped off the bike as she found the torso and head that looked just like her sister. She covered her mouth to hide the gasp, even though she knew Spike would understand the horror of the situation. _Sure, I witnessed the jump. But Spike witnessed the landing, the moment her heart pittered to stop. Pull it together, Dawn! You can't fall apart right now._ His gentle hand on her shoulder made her jump.

"I don't think Red will be able to salvage it this time. The 'Bot 's done for." He tried to make it sound distant, detached, but Dawn saw the distressed look before he turned away. "Better pick up the pieces and get 'em back to her anyway," he knelt to pick up a piece of the robot's forearm.

Dawn watched him poke around the remains of the bonfire, muttering to himself about disrespectful demons and grumbling about the costs of fixing the robot – _again_. A hand clamped over her mouth just as another pulled her up by her arm. The hand over her mouth was too tight, and muffled her cry for help. She flailed and kicked out behind her just like Buffy showed her. She got her elbow free and slammed it into the creature's mid-drift. The hellion chuckled, but his grip on her mouth slipped none-the-less.

"SPIKE!"

The blonde vampire spun and let out a roar.

****************************************BTVS*********************************************

"SPIKE!"

 _That's Dawnie's voice_ , Buffy spun towards the sound leaving the pile of hellions she'd been burning to rot of their own accord. A ferocious roar nearly stopped her short but then she took off running towards the sound. She stumbled over an axe one of the demons had dropped in the rather quick fight she'd just won. Without a second thought she scooped it up and kept moving towards the sounds of fighting.

A hellion backhanded Dawn towards the nearby bonfire and Buffy threw herself into her sister's path, sending them both crashing to the ground. Buffy jumped up and crouched in front of Dawn like a deadly feline protecting it's young. She growled, once again internally pondering her lack of voice. The demon gave her a menacing smile and started back towards them. Buffy swung the axe up and out, slicing the hellion from crotch to throat, and Dawn let out a few gagging sounds. Buffy pushed the now bleeding demon away, and turned back to check her sister for injuries.

Dawn stared at her in wonder and obvious shock. "Buffy?" She whispered, almost as though the smallest noise would make her disappear. Buffy nodded, but just slightly the movement made her head swim. She reached down to touch her little sister's arm, reassuring her and checking for pain at the same time.

"How?"

Buffy opened her mouth and then closed it. A puzzled expression gracing her petite features, then grunted in frustration. Dawn scrambled up to stand, and Buffy jumped at the sudden movement. Dawn steadied her with a soft hand on her forearm.

"So talking isn't quite working for you?"

Buffy gave another small nod, and then tried again. "D-" she frowned, "Sp…" She growled softly.

Dawn smiled, "Spike?" She tried to help. Buffy nodded back, Dawn grinned, and wrapped an arm around her sister. She took one of her hands and looked up at Buffy quizzically. Buffy grimaced and pulled it back, with a small whimper. Her knuckles were bloody, fingernails torn and bleeding, her hands _hurt_.

"Ok, Ok. Let's go see if Spike is done making a mess and we'll go home."

Buffy nodded, this not talking thing was getting old fast.

******************************************BTVS*******************************************

Spike bounced on the balls of his feet in full game face. He hadn't had a fight this good in months, and the rush was phenomenal. _Almost makes the day worth it_ , he thought with a smirk. _Almost_ , the smirk tapered off.

"Spike…" Dawn's voice caught his attention and he waded through the demon carnage "I need you to calm down for a second," she gave him an eager grin.

He cocked an eyebrow at, "What're you on about?"

"Look," She pulled a filthy slip of a girl in front of her. Beneath the grime, Spike could make out Buffy's distinct features.

"Red had an extra made? Didn' hear about that."

"Spike… Look closer." Dawn whined at him. He frowned and took a tentative step closer to her and his nostrils flared. Fresh dirt masked the scent but it was unmistakable. Vanilla, coconut, and slayer blood. _Buffy_. His brain shut down, and his jaw slacked.

"B… Buffy?" Her name slipped out a whisper. He'd barely spoken it since… Since that night.

The slip of a girl before him gave a small shrug. He gazed at her, fully gobsmacked.

"She came out of nowhere and saved me from that hellion… I don't really know how she got here, or why she's covered in dirt, or where she was. She doesn't seem to have a voice or is having trouble with talking but she's definitely the real Buffy." Dawn barely breathed in all of the babbling.

Spike shook him self, and ran a hand through his unruly hair. The overpowering scent of her blood took him by surprise, and he started looking more closely. "Her hands…" He all but whispered.

"Yeah… They look pretty bad. I'm not really sure how that happened either. They were like that when she started kicking demon ass."

"Clawed her way out of the coffin, that's how. Innit?" He caught Buffy's gaze and held it. Willing her to speak.

"H… Ha… Had. T-" Buffy grunted in frustration again, then frowned concentrating hard. "I had to."

Spiked inhaled sharply when she spoke. Her voice poured over him like honey. Three words, barely a whisper, and it nearly brought him to his knees. "It's alright, luv. I've done it myself."

Buffy leaned into Dawn's arm, her strength was fading fast and she felt like she might collapse after all the demon fighting excitement. Spike's gentle hand on her shoulder brought her attention back to her sore arms.

"We should take her home." Dawn's tone left no room for argument, _not that I was gonna argue with the platelet anyhow._

"Yeah… Let's go get you cleaned up, pet." He stroked Buffy's shoulder with his thumb, "Niblet, you alright? I know that wanker grabbed you, did he hurt ya'?"

Dawn smirked, "I'm alright, big tough guy. I think your roar and Buffy's back from the dead act had that demon peeing himself."

Spike shot her a faux-irritated glance, and Buffy giggled at his expression. His glance changed direction, turning into a stunned wide-eyed look at the happy noise coming from the slayer. Maybe everything will be all right after all, he thought wistfully. Shaking his head his thoughts took a grim turn, _this has to have something to do with the red headed witch, and_ _that_ _kind o' magic always has a steep price_.

Buffy took a step forward and wobbled, her knees finally gave and she topped forward. She braced herself for the impact on the pavement, and…it never came. Two steel band-like arms wrapped gently around her waist, scooping her up and cradling her against a taught chest. _Oh_ , she thought with a blush. Dawn barely covered a snicker with a cough, and Spike scowled at her.

"Sorry, it's just… She looked like a baby deer. It was cute," Dawn mumbled and sent Buffy a knowing look that made the older sister blush.

"Well, maybe it was cute, but you still shouldn't be laughing. 'S right disconcerting coming back and sometimes the equilibrium is screwy for a while. I stumbled 'round like a bleedin' drunk all night when I 'as turned." He gave her a severe look that melted into a smirk. A genuine, I-am-William-the-Bloody-Big-Bad-of-Sunnydale smirk.

Buffy's hand on his chest brought his attention back to her. Her head was cocked sideways, in a subtle imitation of him, "H… Ho…m… Home," she whispered. He nodded his understanding and readjusted his hold on her, slipping one arm under her bent knees rather than keep both around her waist.

Dawn led the way back towards Revello Drive, Spike trailed behind her, clutching the exhausted Slayer to his chest. He'd be damned all over again before anyone took her away this time.

_DoTheWacky_

Chpt. 4

The streets of Sunnydale we trashed, cars were turned over, small fires trailed down the sidewalks, and storefronts had been smashed. The Magic Box's wards had held up nicely, the front window had been cracked and the front door singed, but otherwise the shop was unscathed.

The scoobies were hiding out in the training room when the last of the hellions rolled out of town on their motorcycles. Watching their leader get spliced in half by and angry undead slayer and his right hand men get ripped to bits by a master vampire had them running, tails between their legs.

"We should probably start back towards the house, m-make sure S-spike and Dawnie are ok." Tara's confidence was improving, but her stutter still came out when she was nervous. Willow rested her head on her girlfriend's arm, it had been a long night.

"Yeah, let's go check on the Less-Evil Undead and Dawn then we can head home, Ahn." Xander made no move to get up from his slumped position near the back door.

Anya tapped her foot impatiently, chaos, fire, destruction and bloodshed were normal for her, but fear of death and the rush that followed were relatively new and still made her antsy. _And horny_ , she thought with mild amusement.

"Xander you have to get up in order for us to go _anywhere_ ," the whine at the end of her statement completely intentional. "Just like we can have hours and hours of sex later if you don't get up off the floor. Unless you'd like to try some of the role play games I suggested during my lunch break last –mmph!"

Xander had jumped up and clamped his hand over her mouth before she could start telling Willow and Tara just what she had suggested. _Ha! Knew that would get him moving_ , she grinned to herself. _So easy_.

***************************************BTVS*********************************************

She was certain she was floating, no that can't be it because there's a rocking feeling, like being on a boat… Buffy stirred and Spike nearly lost his grip when she wiggled. She looked up at him, green eyes cloudy, before understanding dawned. _That's right, I nearly fell like a newborn calf, and he scooped me up. We were going home_ , she looked around and found herself gliding past the familiar landmarks of Revello Drive.

"Careful, pet. Nearly dropped you. We're almost home, and I can set you down." Spike's deep voice rumbled, his grip on her tightening almost unnoticeably, in fact she would have missed it had she not been focusing on how she felt being cuddled to his chest.

Visions played on her closed eyelids. A memory that wasn't real reminding her of her reasons for returning, an abandoned house and the most peaceful night imaginable, Buffy saw her future self sleeping cuddled in the arms of the vampire she was currently being carried home by. She watched as he tried, valiantly, to stay awake and watch her sleeping, saw him finally succumb to the exhaustion, and watched as the sun came peaking in. Her future self stirred, then eyes wide wiggled away to pull the curtains completely closed, protecting the sleeping vampire from the sun's harmful rays. She smiled to herself, remembering the content feeling she'd had the first time she saw this particular vision.

"Crap! I forgot the keys when we took off earlier!" Dawn's whine broke through Buffy's momentary reveling.

"Ah, well I have it on good authority that there's a spare 'round back, if we locked that door, too." Spike's face was a careful mask of innocence.

"Uh-huh," Clearly Dawn didn't believe the innocent look for even a second, which led Buffy into a fit of giggles.

"I don't think I have ever heard you giggle as much as you have tonight, pet," Spike's words were carefully casual, but the tightness in his eyes was clear, he was worried something may be wrong with her.

She patted his chest until he stopped walking and she very carefully arched an eyebrow and rolled her eyes at him. The corners of his mouth turned up as he tried to suppress the chuckle, but Buffy could feel it rumble his chest.

"That's more like it," He gave her a quick wink and hopped up the steps to the back porch. Dawn was already in the kitchen turning the lights on and moving the stools out of his path.

"Niblet, would you get the first aid kit, some bandages and a bowl of warm water, and bring 'em in here?" He nodded his head towards the living room and carried Buffy through to the couch.

"Alright, luv, you hurtin' anywhere else 'sides your hands?" He arched his scarred brow at her, while not so discretely checking her for more injuries.

"Not really," she whispered, barely loud enough for either of their enhanced hearing abilities, and winced.

"The talking thing, does it hurt to try to talk?"

She nodded and shrugged at the same time, her head was much clearer after the brief nap in Spike's arms.

"Is that all it is? Do you have any problems remembering words or remembering anything at all?"

Buffy sighed, _great I can't talk and now he thinks I'm broken…_ "No," she said the word more forcefully but still barely louder than a whisper.

"I'm just tryin' to help, pet. Don't get all huffy on me." His tone was gentle, but still defensive. "Do you just not want to talk? Is that it?"

She gave him a look that she hoped said 'moron' without her having to strain to get the word out. _She wanted to tell him off, and ask him to stay, and how long she'd been gone, and tell him everything she'd learned in her final minutes in heaven, but she couldn't get out more than a few syllables. Talking physically hurt, and took a lot of concentration thanks to her completely raw throat_. She opened her mouth really wide and tilted her head back to he could see.

"Ah… Christ, Buffy… Throat's so raw it's bleedin', no wonder… I'm sorry, luv. Don't try to talk any more just yet," He cupped her cheek with one hand and she closed her mouth, nuzzling into his hand to show her appreciation. _Appreciation, affection, God so many things I'm feeling towards this idiotic vampire and I can't even begin to explain it because I can't talk!_

Dawn broke the intimate moment coming back downstairs with an armful of first aid supplies. "I'm pretty sure normal people don't have this much first aid crap under their bathroom sinks."

"Normal people don't have the Slayer for a sister." Spike pointed out without looking away from Buffy.

"Hey! Are you calling me abnormal?" Dawn's indignant voice jumped up a couple of octaves making Buffy and Spike cringe.

"Look, Bitesize, your sister is the slayer, your friend is a 100-something year old vampire, and your origins are a centuries old interdimensional key." Spike turned to look at Dawn with an arched brow.

"Fine…" She gave up the faux-indignation and dropped the armload of medical supplies onto the easy chair. "I ran a bath for her while I was up there. Figured it would be the easiest way to get her cleaned up and then we can bandage her up."

"Right," Spike leveled his gaze on Buffy once again, "D'you wan' to try walkin' up there? I'll help you on the stairs,"

Buffy nodded hesitantly, her mind was much clearer now; maybe her equilibrium was better, too.

The front door burst open and the four scoobies came spilling into the front entryway right as Buffy tried to stand up. Spike brought his arms up protectively to steady her. Xander's eyes bugged, Anya stopped right in the doorway with a "Huh!" and Willow and Tara looked back and forth between Spike and Buffy eerily in sync with each other.

"It worked!" Willow cried, before trying to rush up to Buffy. Dawn stepped in between them stopping her in her tracks.

"What, exactly, do you mean 'it worked'?"

Buffy and Spike shared a look, that hard, calculating voice had Buffy-in-slayer-mode written all over it. "Let's sit and watch the circus, yeah, pet?" Spike whispered conspiratorially. Buffy shot him a sideways glance and tried to keep the grin that threatened from showing.

Spike guided her back to the couch and moved to sit next to her.

"Hey, Deadboy Jr. keep your paws off of the newly revived Buffster! She's alive and you don't get to go back to stalking and pining after her." Xander belligerently sputtered from the other side of the room, keeping well away from the Willow/Dawn standoff.

Spike made to get up, and Buffy grabbed him by the arm. The anger faded from his blue eyes almost immediately, and Buffy whispered, "Stay."


	3. Part 3: Guide

**AN: Alright, now we're getting somewhere! I've plunged completely off canon for the moment, we'll line back up and address some points that follow canon later. :) I warned you in my Story "summary" that my characters go OOC, and I like them. This is a heavily emotional chapter, and the way some things play out might be a little squicky, but it all serves a purpose later. R &R!**

Chpt. 5

"DARK MAGIC?! You tried to use Dark freaking Magic to bring Buffy back from the dead?!" Dawn's screeching echoed through the house.

"Not tried. Did. I brought Buffy back from whatever hell dimension she was trapped in." Willow's smug voice floated back to the living room. Buffy snorted and shook her head.

They'd moved the arguing into the dining room so that it wouldn't be quite so harsh on her sensitive ears, but it wasn't really helping. Spike had brought her a coffee mug full of water. "Figured it'd be easier for you to hold," he'd said. That was almost ten minutes ago, before he'd stepped out for a smoke.

Tara sat beside her on the couch, not talking, just sitting. The poor empath was probably as jumbled as she was right now, all of the emotions flying around the room. Spike's boots echoed off the tile in the kitchen and Buffy sat up a little more, Tara covered a smile with her hand and indicated for Buffy to sip the water he'd brought her.

"Dawnie, I thought you'd be happy." Willow whined from the dining room.

"Alright enough." Spike voice was quiet but harsh. "No one here is happier to have Buffy back, than the platelet here. But you lot crossed a line you can't come back from, magic, 'specially dark magic, always comes with a price. Ask demon girl over there what happened last time some bloke attempted a resurrection."

Anya stirred from where she had dozed off on Xander's shoulder. "Death, destruction, and neither one of them managed to live for another year. Of course, it was Victorian London, Spike, so bad example."

Spike snorted, "True enough. Sod you all, you can keep at it or don't I don' give a bleedin' fuck, I'm gonna take Buffy upstairs to clean up. Her bath's prob'ly gone cold."

Buffy stood and swayed, Tara held her elbow to steady her, and she smiled back at her in gratitude. Spike took hold of her elbow, "Thanks, Glinda. I got 'er." And wrapped an arm around Buffy's waist, guiding her to the stairs.

***************************************BTVS****************************************

Dawn waited until she heard Spike and Buffy reach the top of the stairs before turning back to the scoobies. Willow had moved to stand next to Xander and Anya when Spike led Buffy away. _Probably a good thing, I just might hit her_ , Dawn thought darkly.

"I want you all out of here. You can come back tomorrow afternoon, or not. I don't care. I just want you out of our house."

"Dawn, Buffy needs to know we're here for her. We saved her, we just want to be here and be happy with her."

Dawn snorted, "You're here for her? You didn't even realize she'd come back. God, do you realize where you left her? Did you even think before you started that spell about where she'd be physically when she came back?"

Tara gasped, eyes glistening with tears.

Willow rushed to her, "What? What is it, baby?"

Tara met Dawn's steely gaze, "Her h-hands…?"

"Yup, and it's probably why she doesn't have a voice at the moment, too. Claustrophobia doesn't even begin to cover the horror."

"Oh God…" Xander covered his mouth like he might be sick.

"Come on, Willow, Tara, you can use our guest room tonight." Anya pulled the greenish looking male to his feet and led him towards the door.

"But Buffy…"

"Needs her family tonight," Dawn said firmly, summoning up as much of her mom's stubbornness as she could muster.

"Well Spike isn't family either, and who knows what he's doing to her up there!"

"He's taking care of the traumatized woman you left to dig herself out of her own coffin!" Dawn spat back. "Now get out."

Willow gasped, and made to say something else, but Tara stopped her. "Let's just leave them to take care of Buffy tonight and tomorrow. Give her some time."

Dawn breathed out a sigh of relief when the front door closed behind the wiccas. _Channeling the patented Summers-woman-stubbornness and Buffy-level anger was a lot of work on an empty stomach. Oh! I bet Buffy is going to be hungry soon too, I'll make dinner while Spike plays nurse_ , Dawn snickered to herself as she headed for the kitchen images of William the Bloody in sea green scrubs flitting about her mind.

She pawed through the contents of the fridge looking for inspiration and not actually paying attention to the food at all. _I really hope Willow didn't do any serious damage with her spell. And what were they thinking? She was trapped in a hell dimension? HELLO?! Heaven's Chosen One…_ Dawn muttered to herself as she found the appropriate cheeses for a pasta sauce. _They were probably Willow and Tara's but right now...Oh look I forgot to care!_ Dawn stopped her rummaging stumped by her last snarky comment, _Ok, officially spending too much time with Spike. Ooooh look, grapes! Those will be easier on her stomach._

******************************************BTVS******************************************

Spike leaned against the closed door to the upstairs loo, head against the doorframe and eyes closed. His heart was singing, but his mind was racing from one terrifying scenario to the next. _Buffy was home, at what cost? Surely the Powers-that-bloody-Be wouldn't allow her return if it was going to bring about the end of the world? Does she hate him? Hate being here? Where was she?_ An insistent tapping noise pulled his attention away from his thoughts.

"Spike"

Her voice was still weak, but it was coming back. He opened the door a crack so he could hear her without her straining too much, "You alrigh' in there, luv?"

"Need help…" Her voice wavered on the second word, _not hesitant, more likely unfamiliar_. He forced the smirk from his face.

"You want me to come in, luv? I can close my eyes."

"Ok," _this time she did sound hesitant. Bloody hell._ He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and pushed the door open.

"Alright, 'm here. Y' need help stepping out?"

"No… I… can'twashmyhair." She ran the end of it together in one breath, but still it was a full sentence, that was an improvement.

"Your hands… Ok, pull your knees up and hug 'em. Don't give me that, just do it."

His eyes may have been closed, but he could feel the indignant look she shot him having been on the receiving end of it plenty of times.

"Right, ev'rything covered?" He hadn't moved more than an inch past the doorway.

"Yes," She was sounding more like herself by the minute, petulant and annoyed tone oozed out of the one word.

"S'rry, luv. Gonna have to open m' eyes to wash your hair and figured you'd rather be as covered as you can be."

She didn't reply so he opened his eyes a fraction. Her hair hung in wet knots all down her back and she wore a glum expression of defeat. He cringed at the murky bath water, all of the blood and dirt had washed off and he could now see her pink tinged skin, but there was no way her hair would ever get clean in that. He moved forward and pulled the plug for the water to drain, and flipped the showerhead on warm. He pulled the curtain closed and backed away.

"Rinse off and warm back up, I'll be back in two seconds."

He sprinted to her bedroom and retrieved the extra set of clothes he kept there for emergencies. "This is not a good idea… Slayer is gonna stake first and ask questions later, no doubt…"

He took another deep breath and pushed back into the bathroom. "Alrigh' Slayer, before I let you in on m' plan, you gotta tell me if you've got any pointy objects hidden in the shower."

"Spike, just get in and help me wash my hair. Leave your jeans on. We can run them through the dryer for you after."

His jaw fell slack, well that was the plan to a 'T' but he figured she wouldn't go along with it, much less suggest it herself. "Uh… Right. That was that plan. Got your voice back, huh?"

"Still hurts when I try to talk loud."

"Right, 'nough chit chat then…" He unlaced his boots and stripped his socks off. Shaking his head at the completely ridiculous situation, he dropped the holster for her short swords on top of his boots, and pulled his fitted t-shirt over his head.

"I'm gonna step in down here, alrigh' Slayer," He wiggled his fingers at her behind the curtain, "better face the other way 'less you want me to see all o' you." He put a flare of his usual snark behind the words to hide the terrified feeling clawing up and down his spine. _He loved this woman, this goddess, and he was about to step into the shower with her and would NOT ruin the moment by actually doing any indecent_. _Please don't stake me, Slayer. Aw damn…_ He looked down with a scowl _._

He adjusted his rapidly hardening member, and stepped behind the curtain. Steam poured out of the shower and he felt the heat against his cool skin.

"Is that water too warm for you, sweetheart? I can feel the heat and so it must be pretty bloody hot." He tried, _tried_ to not focus on the golden skin of her bare back and glorious legs. _This is going to be harder than I thought_ , he shook his head, _pun not intended_.

"It's ok," Buffy glanced over her shoulder at him; her eyes were puffy and red ringed.

"C'mon, pet. Let's get you clean." He soothed, her red-rimmed eyes tugged him out of his momentary haze. He wanted to get her out of this shower and dressed so he could hold her before she went back to treating him like the monster he was.

He picked up a shampoo bottle and sniffed at the open cap, "Hope you don't mind Niblet's shampoo. We can get you some of the kind you like tomorrow and anything else you need."

"Spike?"

"Yes, pet?"

"Thank you…" She mumbled the words so softly he thought for a moment he'd imagined them. That's three times tonight she's left me completely gobsmacked, he thought.

"It's nothin', Slayer. Just doin' what's right by you, 's all." He said gruffly, a lump had formed in his throat and he tried to swallow past it. _Something is different about her_ , he mused _, I get it, bein' dead prob'ly changes you a bit, but it's more_. He worked the knots out of her hair with a wide toothed comb, carefully and methodically. When he stopped to rinse the shampoo from her hair she swayed slightly. Without thinking he dropped a hand on her waist to steady her, then realized what he was doing and tensed up.

"Sorry, luv." He mumbled and tried to back away, but she held his hand in place.

"Spike, could you quit treating me like I'm made of glass?"

"Not why I'm skittish, pet. Sur'ly you realize that."

Her shoulders slumped and she released his hand, "Right, well turn the water off and we'll get dried off so you can leave. Sorry I needed help."

His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, "Pet, that's not what I meant at all! I want to help! Just don't wanna push the boundary and get staked in the process. Here let's get you dry so we can talk. M' brain is about to melt from the heat in this shower."

_DoTheWacky_

Chpt. 6

Her pink fluffy robe swallowed her, but it was cozy, her hair was wrapped up in a towel, and her face looked pink and clean. She gingerly sat of the edge of her bed and waited for Spike to come out of the bathroom. Her room looked mostly untouched. She glanced around, all of her stuff was as she left it, but the room had inherited a few new things. Heavier drapes blocked any light from peeking in the window and a black duffle bag sat against her closed closet door. She picked up a pillow and cuddled it to her. _Hmm, whiskey, leather, cigarette and a masculine musk, a unique combination that belonged to only one person. Spike_.

"Yeah, sorry. I crash up here from time to time." Spike came in wearing a fresh pair of jeans, towel draped around his shoulders, and his hair stood in unruly curls all over his head.

 _Ho. Ly. Shit. Ok, Buffy, quit staring…_ "Oh… Uh… That's ok. I like the new curtains…" She offered, lamely.

The corners of his mouth quirked up, "Tara and Niblet picked them out."

Buffy nodded and scooted back to lean against the headboard. "Thank you."

His brow furrowed, "For what, pet?"

"Everything. Fighting Glory. Keeping your promise. Not leaving. Helping me tonight. Being such a gentleman in the shower. Just everything, Spike, thank you for everything you've done."

His jaw fell slack, again, that was happening a lot tonight. "Uh, Slayer… You feelin' alright? That's the third time tonight you've said thank you – to me of all peop…uh vamps."

"Sit. We need to talk. "

"There's five words that strike fear in hearts of men… Hold on a mo', luv, and we'll talk."

He left the room and came back no more than five seconds later _. Geez, overusing the vamp speed much?_ She thought wryly, wiping the smirk off of her face a split second before he slipped back through the door with her mug of water.

"If we're gonna talk you need to keep sippin' on that. Rehydrate and all that…"

She nodded and sipped obediently before setting the mug on her nightstand. "Sit?" She reminded him with raised eyebrows. He'd gone all gawky on her, again, a wide-eyed expression of awe on his already prominent features.

"Sorry, Slayer," He shook his head and dropped in to the vanity chair, facing her on the bed.

"It's alright. I get it. I was dead. Seeing me up and kicking will probably take some getting used to. For everyone." She shrugged.

"You're coping rather well…"

"Not really, I think the shock has worn off, now… I feel restless. Want to laugh, cry, scream, and knock the crap out of Willow… but that won't help anything. Can Vampires go into shock?" She threw out nonchalantly, feigning innocence, and giving him a curious expression.

"Don' know. Most symptom's o' shock are physical, but the mind numbing part is very possible. Wouldn't get cold, might think we are… hmm… Question for later, though. 'less the details of vampires' mental capabilities 's what you wanted to talk about." He gave her a rueful smile.

"No, just curiosity." She waived a hand at him, "There's a lot I want to tell you and I don't really know where to start." She admitted with a shrug.

"Well, start wherever your comfortable, pet. Don' owe me a thing."

"But I do," she said softly.

He looked up at her startled and she smiled back at his questioning gaze. "I owe you so much, and I've never given you half of the appreciation you deserve."

"Bu… Buffy. I'm a selfish git, don'-"

"No." She cut off his protest, "If you were that selfish, you would've left. I wasn't here to hold you to it, and you still kept your promise. How long have I been gone, Spike?"

"One hundred forty-seven days yesterday," He said looking down, voice gruff.

"Right, bit longer from my perspective, but still. You're telling me you hung around the scoobies for more than five months out of selfishness?"

He shook his head, giving in. "How long was it for you?"

"Longer. I don't know exactly how long. No calendars or even sunrises to count." She lips turned up involuntarily, she would keep the memories of her stay in heaven for a long time.

"Buffy, were you… Where did they pull you out of, Slayer? Certainly not a hell dimension like those thickskulled prats seem to think?"

"No. Not hell. I was happy… At peace. It's just a guess, but I would say I was in heaven." She said the word almost wistfully, and Spike gasped. Outrage on her behalf flitted across his face, and then he looked at her, eyes steely blue.

"Those wankers deserve whatever repercussions come of that spell. If any one on this planet deserved eternity in Heaven, it's you, Buffy. I know it's not much, but I am very sorry they took that from you. Selfish enough, that I'm glad you're here, but sorry you got pulled out of a peaceful restin' place."

His eyes were downcast, not meeting her gaze. "They didn't pull me out."

His head snapped up, his cloudy eyes locking on her. "But Red's spell?"

She shook her head with a smile.

"Then how?"

"It's a very long story…"

"Not getting any older, here."

She giggled. "Right, but there's a couple of things I want to get into first, if that's ok?"

He nodded, "The floor's all yours, pet. Don' have to talk about anything you don' want to. Though I would like to know a bit about heaven, if your willin', prob'ly never get to see it for m'self."

"Mom was there, most of the time. She's kind of like a guardian angel now."

Spike's smile was wide, "Yours?"

She smiled back, but shook her head. "Dawn and a few others."

He nodded, "I see that. A real lady, you mum, was. Treated me like a man, 'stead of a monster."

"She's happy. Everyone was. Jenny Calendar was there," She gave a small smile.

"Gypsy bird?"

"Yeah. She told me to let go of the guilt. That lives were going to be lost, and that it was ok. She told me it wasn't my fault. Her death, she said it would've happened anyway. Angelus or not."

He nodded, "Her time."

"Yeah. I'll miss the warmth and the love, but I'll always carry that with me, and I know at least one of them will always be with me, I just can't see her."

He gave her a puzzled look.

She smiled, "My guide. Kind of a guardian angel, but more than that. Guardian angels are for protecting the innocent, guides help keep us on the path that is right for us. Even when it challenges the fates."

He arched a brow at her, "Did you know her? Your guide?"

"Not from before," She said softly, "But you did."

His eyes widened, "How?"

"She wants me to tell you… She knows you were trying to save her, and she doesn't blame you for it. She knows you loved her more than anything, and she loves you."

"That's not… No. You can't…"

"Anne loved you, William. You mother will always love you, and she's always around. Her spirit was pulled into heaven when you turned her. The demon that wore her face had her memories, and new exactly how to hurt you, but it wasn't really her, Spike. Your mum loves, it's just who she is."

"Then why… Why didn't I change like that? I'm a demon, and I still love her damnit."

"You're unique, Spike. Your spirit held on for the ride. You're soul is up there, sure, pretty ball of white light, but your spirit is still right here." She placed a gentle hand on his chest. "A soul is just a moral compass. It doesn't make human's any less evil that vampires or demons. Hell, some demons even have souls."

"My mum is… She's in heaven?"

"Usually, yeah. When she's not helping me."

"She helps you?"

"Mhmm," Buffy was still leaning forward towards him, she'd moved her hand from his chest and was resting it on his forearm.

"Can you… Can you see her? Can she hear us?"

"I don't see her, or at least I haven't, yet. And yes," She paused taking a deep breath, "if you talk directly to her, she can her you. I could, so it should work the same way."

His eyes got wider. "You could… Oh god, Slayer…" He was remembering a few nights after her death, he'd gotten slobbering drunk and laid on her grave. Spent most of the night talking to her. Clem had found him before sunrise and carried him back to his crypt. She remembered every word he'd spoken that night, remembered being shocked by how deeply he felt for her.

"It's ok, Spike. I didn't understand before, thought Angel was right and that demons couldn't love. I know now. You can love, and hurt, and feel a full range of emotions, because your spirit is emotional. He doesn't know the first thing about love; his spirit is selfish, closed off. You know where he was that night? Hiding in some monastery, no emotions; just good old-fashioned brooding. You're different, and I'm sorry I didn't see it before." She cupped his cheek and watched him blink rapidly; forcing back the tears that threatened to fall.

"I see you, Spike. And I like what I see."


	4. Part 4: Awake

AN: Ok everyone, things are nosediving off canon now. I've given in to the fluffy parts I've been saving for this fic. Everything is starting to fall into place for the big reveal to the scoobies.

Enjoy!

Chpt. 7

 _I see you, Spike. And I like what I see._ Her honey coated voice poured over him, on repeat in his mind. He glanced sideways at her, _she's not done_ , he realized. _She said it earlier, but I didn't catch it. There's a lot more at play here_. She caught him looking at her, and smiled gently before turning her attention back to her sister. Dawn had brought a bowl of grapes up to her and announced she was cooking dinner and that she'd be bringing it up in fifteen minutes, before trotting back out into the hallway and closing the door behind her. _Didn't even bat an eyelash at Buffy for the intimate little scene we present here… Not quite cuddling, but damn near_. After the initial shock of the first bit of heaven info she'd dropped on him, she'd talked him into sitting next to her on the bed, their legs brushed any time either of them moved, and she kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. Neither of them had spoken since Dawn closed the door behind her.

"So…" He really didn't know what to say, that'd never happened before around the Slayer. _Usually stick my foot in m' mouth and can't help insultin' the bint._

"There's more. I just don't know where to start." Buffy studied her hands. The knuckles were bruised, but no longer bleeding. Her nails were ragged and torn. He leaned off the bed slightly and grabbed a tube of antibiotic cream. He dropped a generous amount into the palm of his hand and took on of her hands in his, and gently massaged it into her hands.

"Know you don' need it, slayer healing, an' all. But it'll make 'em feel a bit better until they heal completely."

She nodded and turned to give him her other hand. "That feels good," she offered with a small smile.

He smirked back. _Something is very, very different. Not wrong, just not exactly right either. Buffy–before death—never,_ never _would've let him in her room. Let alone sit on her bed, and doctor her hands. She'd've kicked him out right and proper, and then kept on kickin' him right to the curb. No, something was different._ Buffy _was different_.

"You alrigh', pet?"

"Mhmm," She nodded.

"You sure? You're… I don' know… You seem…"

"Different?"

He chuckled without humor, "Yeah."

"I feel different. Or at least I think I do. It's… A lot has happened, things have changed, for the good."

"Because of Heaven?" He arched an eyebrow at her.

"Everything was so clear up there. I could see everything for what it actually was, no second-guessing. There's so much gray in this world, and it's just so hard to… I knew exactly what I needed to do, and now I'm here and I don't know how to do it." She growled in frustration.

"Start at the beginning, luv. I've got plenty o' time."

"Willow's spell would've worked, but it was interrupted. Hellions." She shrugged, and he nodded. "She could've finished the incantation and it would've worked, but the price…" Buffy winced.

"Always a price for magic. 'specially dark magics."

"Exactly. The Powers intervened and knocked her out cold. Then offered me a choice."

Spike gave her a wide-eyed look.

"They showed me what would've happened if Willow's spell had been allowed to work. God, Spike, it was so awful. I… So much bad happens. I would've been… They showed me what it would've been like for me, I would've been cold, and resentful, and God! The shit I would've put you through!" She bit her lip then, shaking her head with a sigh. "And that's only a little teensy part of it. That spell starts a spiral of horrible things that just get progressively worse and worse. I… I had to come back. I had to change things. She still did the spell, so a lot of bad is coming, but maybe not as much since she didn't finish it. And I know what's coming, so I can try to stop it."

She paused, taking a deep breath and looked over at him. He remained quiet, she was talking and he didn't want her to get sidetracked if he asked questions.

"I'll write all of it down later, so everyone can read it. Some of it might already be fixed since her spell didn't bring me back. The Powers showed me everything and then said now choose. You can go help them, using all of that you've seen, or let them sort it out themselves. You're not being there may be enough change."

He snorted and she smirked at him. "Yeah, there's a catch though."

"A catch?" He choked. "You're here to stay, right, Slayer. They're not gonna send you down here to fix a few things then yank you back? They can't. They… No. We'll –"

"Shhh… They're not gonna yank me back. Ever."

He started breathing again, "Thank, God. Sorry, luv, I just don' think… Wait. What do you mean 'ever?'"

She smiled sadly, "I can't go back." She gave a little shrug.

"Those wankers would send you to hell just for choosing to help the people you love?!" He was fully pissed off on her behalf. _She was just accepting this? Complete bullocks._

"Not quite. Not really sure how it works, but I'm even harder to kill than you are now."

"You're… You'll never… Oh, Buffy." He was completely stunned and in a moment of blind empathy he pulled her into an embrace that she warmly returned. _Hmm…feels like home_ , he thought as her arms came around his back.

********************************************BTVS*****************************************

Dawn carried a tray with three bowls, a jug of water, and some plastic cups gingerly up the stairs. _Sheesh, must've gotten some of the slayer reflexes. Wonder if the trait runs in families?_ She paused outside her sister's door listening.

" _Not really sure how it works, but I'm even harder to kill than you are now_."

" _You're… You'll never…Oh, Buffy_."

 _Yikes, might wanna give them a few minutes. Or make some noise so they know I'm coming._ She turned back towards the stairs and made a point of clomping with every step back to the doorway.

"Room Service!" She shouted with a smirk.

Spike opened the door with a faint look of amusement on his chiseled face, "Ha bloody ha. Brat."

Buffy snickered from her place on the bed and Spike tried-and failed-to hide his smile at the sound. Dawn sidestepped around the vampire and into the room, and he took the tray from her before she dropped everything. "Thanks, it'd be a real waste to make it up all those stairs just to drop everything once I get up here."

Buffy pulls her feet up into a cross-legged position, and pats the space on the bed in front of her. Dawn puts a small bowl of angel hair pasta with olive oil and seasoning in her sister's hands. "You need to eat to get the slayer healing really going, but I figured you're already dehydrated so cheese might not go over well."

She turns back and hands Spike a mug with a warmed bag of blood, and a bowl of pasta. "Cajun style. Plenty of spice."

"Ta, pet." He smirks at her; before Buffy pulls him back down to sit by her.

Dawn picks up her own bowl and folds her legs into a cross-legged pose at the foot of the bed, facing the lethal blondes. "So I was right. Heaven, huh?"

_DoTheWacky_

Chpt. 8

Spike woke with a start. Someone was hugging him, and he glanced around in a daze. _Oh, Buffy's room. Must've crashed here and Niblet climbed in with me, again_. He started to sit up and the arm around his waist tightened into a vice-like grip. A blonde head snuggled further onto his chest and the memories from last night came flooding back. _Buffy_.

She'd fallen asleep talking to Dawn the night before. Leaned her head on his shoulder and slipped right into a deep, exhausted sleep. Dawn had given him a knowing smile, and told him to get some sleep, before heading to bed himself. He glanced at the clock. A little after seven in the morning, _Niblet better be up and ready for school_. He glanced at the sleeping blonde and sighed. He didn't want to move, but he needed to get her sister off to classes. Gingerly he extracted himself from her steely grip, and padded out into the hall. He left the door cracked so he could hear even the slightest change in her breathing from downstairs.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, his head tilted to the side slightly, listening. _Ah, kitchen_. He could pick up her heartbeat from about a block away, but it took concentrating. He could probably do the same with all of the scoobies after spending so much time around them this summer, but he'd never tried. He slipped into the kitchen and stopped short. Dawn was dressed, sitting at the breakfast bar, eating cereal and humming. He arched a brow, _one night with big sis and the girl's back to normal. Or at least as normal as she was_ _before_ _._

"There's a mug of blood in the microwave. Might run it again, though. It's probably cold." She informed him around a mouthful of cereal, never turning around.

"How'd you know it was me, not big sis?"

"You're not a stealthy as you think you are. Heard you on the stairs."

He grumbled, "Damn things creak. I need to look at them, make sure none of the boards are loose or gone bad."

"Very domestic." She tossed out with a smirk. He growled and pushed the defrost button on the microwave.

"Not as big and bad as you think you are. I checked on you guys when I woke up. You never even moved."

"You peaked in on us, huh?" He arched a brow at her, _how'd I not hear that?_

"Hey, you were sleeping in clothes, so I didn't have to gouge my eyes out. Thank god! I just wanted to make sure… I wanted to see if it was real. Last night. You know? Not just a dream."

He felt the smirk fade into a genuine smile. "Yeah. Didn't quite believe it this morning myself. Forgot where I was when I woke up. Thought you'd crawled in with me after a nightmare or something, 'til I saw the bottle blonde."

She grinned, "I wouldn't call her out on the bottle part. Could get ugly."

He snorted, "Noted."

"She's different though. Calmer."

"Yeah, I reckon heaven changes a person, bit."

"I can't believe they didn't check."

He snorted again, "I can. Meddling prats."

"Tara called earlier. Willow called Giles last night. He'll be back tonight."

"Figures. They'll all be here as soon as he lands."

"Don't let them throw you out. This is my house – er – our house. Mine, Buffy's and yours. I'll miss Tara, but I'll throw them all out if they try anything."

"Ta, Pet. But let's let you sister in on it, too. Not gonna impose."

"Careful, your well-mannered-Brit side is showing." She grinned mischievously.

"Oi! Big Bad, here. Watch your mouth."

"I'll be back as soon as school lets out. Take care of her, Spike." She slipped out the front door. Spike was turning away from the front door when Buffy's heart rate sped up. He sat his mug on the table just inside the living room and headed for the stairs. Then, she started to scream.

Bugger. He lept up the stairs in three bounds and darted into her bedroom. The sheets were tangled around her and she wash thrashing around. Shit!

"Buffy. Buffy wake up, sweetheart." He gently tried to shake her awake and had to duck to avoid being backhanded across the room. He caught her wrist and pinned it down, then tried again to shake her awake.

"Buffy, luv, it's just a dream." Her screaming had died down, but she was still tossing and turning about. Her other arm shot out at him and he dodged again, narrowly missing a broken nose, but still catching the punch in the shoulder.

"Oof." He grunts, then pins both of her wrists with one hand. Damnit… Something has to work. Poor thing is probably dreamin' she back in that bleedin' coffin.

"Oi! Slayer! A little help?!"

Her eyes shoot open and he smiles down at her. "You alrigh', luv?"

"Spike?" She whispers, blinking rapidly.

"You're okay, sweetheart. I've got you," He lets go of her wrists and sinks to sit beside her on the bed.

"I was back in the coffin and I couldn't get out. You and Dawn needed me and I couldn't get out." Tears slip down her cheeks, and he feels like an icy hand twists his guts.

He twists so he's stretched out beside her and pulls her tenderly against his chest. "You're here, luv, with me. Dawn's off to school for the day but she'll be back before you know it."

They lay like that for a while, Spike smoothing her hair and Buffy keeping a fistful of his t-shirt tight in her hand. Spike's thoughts were chaotic, even more so than usual, but the general theme remained constant for the hour they lay in each other's arms. _Buffy is letting me hold her. Sure, she was all righ' it with it last night, bit I figured that was the shock. But here we are-harsh light o' day-and Buffy is letting me hold her_. He takes a chance and drops a kiss to her crown, only to be stunned when she murmured happily.

Her stomach growling a moment later helped him recover quickly. "Hungry, pet?"

"Mhmm. Starved." She lifts her head and looks up at me.

"Well, we can't have that now. Let's find you some nosh." He smooths her hair down one last time and sits up with her.

*******************************************BTVS******************************************

 _Spike cooks_. Buffy watches him move around her kitchen with ease from her spot on the barstool. _Spike cooks, and apparently does it a lot around here. He knows where things are in this kitchen better than I do_. He puts a glass of juice down in front off her and turns to the stove to drop cheese and ham into an omelet. _My favorite, but how does he know that?_

The toaster pops and Buffy jumps at the unexpected loud noise. He glances at her reassuringly. "Sorry, luv. Forgot your ears are prob'ly still hypersensitive. Should've warned you."

"It's ok. I'm jumpy." Buffy fidgets on her stool and Spike turns back to the stove and the massive omelet he's tending to. With his back to her, she plucks up her courage. "So… I know I dropped a pretty big bombshell on you last night."

She watches the profile of his face as his lips lift up in a smirk. "You could say that, luv."

"So… What do you think about all of it?"

His shoulders lift in a quick shrug, "Don't rightly know, pet. Not even sure I know everything yet, am I?"

She nods, "There's two years worth… I really don't even know… I'm gonna write it all down. So I don't forget any of it and so you and the others can read it."

"Sounds like a good plan, pet." He's made two plates. Half of the massive ham and cheese omelet, a slice of toast and orange slices gets slid in front of her. He stands opposite with a cup of coffee and the other half of the omelet.

She inhales with a happy smile. "This smells great." She tells him, and he just smiles back.

She sets her fork down and gives him a no-nonsense look. "Okay, mister, you're being entirely too…non-talky. You always have something to say, why are you walking on eggshells now?"

He sighs and his shoulders hunch. "I'm jus' trying to suss you out a bit, Slayer. You've been through… Heaven and hell in last day. And here you sit, acting almost normal and chipper – with me, no less – and I'm jus' tryin' to keep my trap shut so I don't ruin it all."

She picks her for back up and takes a bite of the omelet while she considers all that he's said. "I have been through a weird 24 hours, that's true, but I knew it was coming." She holds her hand up when he tries to interrupt, "I'm not saying I was prepared for the…digging myself out. I didn't know, and nothing could've prepared me for that. But the rest… I know why I'm here and I'm okay with never getting to go back."

"See that's what I can't wrap my head around! You didn't just give up Heaven this time, you gave it up permanently!"

Her brows bunch together, "I figured you'd be more okay with that part than I am."

"What? Pet, I know I've done some horrid things and that I still claim to be the Big Bad, but I haven't wished you ill in any real way in… well probably ever, if you believe Dru."

She smirks, "Not what I meant, dork."

He sets his coffee and gives her a perplexed look. "Explain it to me, then."

She squirms, "Well… where do we stand?"

"What are you asking?"

She sighs and eyes focused on her plate, "Do you still love me?"

He stops moving and she starts to babble, "I mean… I was dead, for months, and I really don't mean to put you on the spot, I just-"

He stops her mid sentence, pressing two fingers to her lips and tipping her chin up so she meets his eyes. "Buffy, I've loved you I lot longer than I've even admitted to myself. Maybe even from the moment I clapped eyes on you. And you know, your death nearly ripped me apart. Of course I still love you, you daft bint."

She inhales sharply and relaxes, "Then the rest, Heaven, scoobies, everything, none of that matters. I made the right choice."

His eyes are wide, bright and unwavering. "What are you saying, luv? Don't leave me to guess."

"I'm saying, I came back so I could finally be me. And I want to be me with you. I won't say those words, yet. Things always go wrong the moment they leave my mouth, but I want to say them. I want to scream them from the rooftops. Can you… I know you've waited and waited, but can knowing I want to say them be enough, until I'm brave enough to say them for real?"

His lips capture hers the moment she stops talking. _Thank you Powers! At least I'm sitting down, because my knees would've buckled by now. God, this man can kiss!_

He pulls back and I gasp air into my lungs. "Buffy, of course it's enough. It's more than I ever expected. More than I deserve."

"William, you deserve all of the love a woman can give. I only hope I can be her someday."

He clutches her to his chest, "God, I love you. I'll spend the rest of my days showing you, if you'll let me."

"I think I'd like that." She tips her face up to look at his clear blue eyes. He presses his lips to her forehead.

"You done eating, pet?"

"Not yet. This is really good." The tension that had been so thick at the start of breakfast has all evaporated from the air around them. Buffy smiles watching him clean up around the kitchen while she finishes the omelet. _This might all work out after all_.


End file.
